"CLICK!"
Now that was indeed a classic, whenever I need a laugh around here I
can always think back to that. Oh yes, HI! Well how rude of me, you
are just sitting there reading this, and of course you haven't the slightest
idea of what I'm talking about. Now then, to make it up to you I'll
take you back in time to show you what I was talking about...
Alright.
So, exactly where we are does not matter that much, but you do need
to know we are flying along a highway in British Columbia,
and it's few years back, late 1990s I do believe. Hmm, you
look a little queasy, I best get you on the ground where you'll
feel a bit more comfortable, and then we can have a close look at
this whole scene. No, don't worry about making noise or anything
like that; no one can hear or see us, but you do have to pay attention.
Now, do you notice that car pulling over to the shoulder of the highway
on that big corner? That is where you'll want to focus your
attention; things are about to get interesting.
Ok,
so you see the middle aged man getting out of the car and running down
the bank. He seems to be trying to get out of the view of any
passing cars. Ah, listen to the birds. This really is a beautiful stretch
of highway, rather peaceful, although the cars do seem to be speeding
along. They really would be best just to slow down and enjoy the scenery.
Oh yes, the story, I'm sorry. So I guess you've noticed
he has his pants and underwear off now? Oh, and now he is squatting
down. Hmm, I think at this point it would be best to get right in to
this story and get a few of his thoughts.
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"That
is the last time I'll eat roadhouse hotdogs! When will I learn!? Ok,
just another seco-- Whoa, is that a deer, no, umm, no I don't think
it is. Hmm, oh, oh, OH mother of God, a bear! Ok ok, okay--stay calm.
Remember, they fear you as much as you fear them-- so it must be damned
afraid. That is what they say about bears though, right? Well sure,
except he doesn't appear to be afraid of me, and now he's moving closer
to me. Breathe, breathe, don't freak out, he'll move along in a second.
Ohhhh crap, he's on his hind legs- that can't be a good sign. Play dead
my ass, I'm outta here!!!"
Hey
look at that guy go! Run my man, RUN! Wow, he's on the highway already,
no pants of course, but he is making great time- a bear catching you
defecating will do that to a person. And now he's running right down
the highway! Oh my, I hope he doesn't run into that van on the side
of the road. Oh no! Watch out for that speeding car! "CLICK!"
So
there we have it, for the record: a half naked man, mid-stride no less,
running 97km/h in an 80 zone. The Photo Radar Van took a nice
shot of the speeding car with the man, smack in the centre of the
shot. Now I know they don't give you tickets if there is another
car in the picture, but I never did catch the regulation on nakedness.
Either way, I'm quite sure the RCMP is not keen on sending
porn in the mail; it isn't really their thing.
Well
thanks for coming along on this little journey. I will indeed try to
be more polite next time. I truly am sorry, but I do hope I've made
it up to you a little by taking you here to see this in person--oh there
I go again, I've just left you suspended here, I really should take
you back...