Coyote was walking along
When he came upon a man who obviously wasn't from here.
The man said, "Ah, Coyote, I've been asking these elders
About the nature of Coyote.
I am attempting to write the definitive work on the Coyote character."

Coyote wasn't sure what "definitive" was but he said
"Well, I should be able to help you with that.
Coyote is the exponent of all human possibilities.
He embodies the moral ramifications of our thought processes,
And he actualizes the dichotomous relationship between man and nature."

The anthropologist was impressed.
He had a brilliant career-enhancing thought.
"Coyote, how would you like to co-author a paper with me
And come up to the university to present it at a scholarly conference?"

Coyote thought about that for a minute.
"Yes," he said, "I will."

Well, Coyote and the anthropologist went to the big city to the big university.
They worked on that paper until it was perfected.
The anthropologist was really excited and anxious,
Looking forward to the awe and admiration of his colleagues.
It was such a coup to actually have Coyote there to co-present the paper.

The day of the conference came.
The anthropologist had arranged to present last
To increase the anticipation.
Coyote listened to the first presenter.
He fidgeted through the next one.
He snoozed through the next one.
And half way through the fourth one
He whispered to the anthropologist
He was going to the bathroom.

The scholars droned on and on
But Coyote didn't return.
The anthropologist was getting worried
When suddenly there was a commotion outside the room.
The anthropologist went to see what was going on.

He found the buffet table in ruins
Coyote muzzle prints in every dish.
He encountered a matronly female colleague
With Coyote paw prints on the butt of her dress.
He found a big pile of stinking, steaming Coyote shit in the middle of the floor
And no Coyote to be seen.

At last, the anthropologist understood the true nature of Coyote.